This one comes from very conclusive evidence, and was expected to be posted on this site the minute this blog started. Sarah Palin has quit her governorship because she has been offered a shopping spree by the Republican Party. Most people expected this to be the case because of the famed shopping spree that occurred throughout the presidential election, but one small fact was overlooked:
Most of the shopping that Sarah Palin did was in an effort to seduce me, Dru Johnston.
This is true, and I can prove it because of this very real email she sent me moments ago:
"Dear Dru,
I'm leaving the governor's office because I have been offered a shopping spree in New York City and I find you incredibly attractive.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin"
So real. This is so, so real.
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